The Test of Dismay
by everydayisagift
Summary: On the day before the holidays, Flitwick gives his class an unexpected test - but it is not what anyone expected... Oneshot. Please R&R!


**A/N: and yes, I did learn from experience. It was quite embarrassing. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. **

"Class!" called Professor Flitwick, "Listen up!" Everyone quietened down, and looked to the front. Hermione, Harry and Ron sat in the front row, much to the boys' dismay. Hermione was very picky when it came to seating arrangements.

"So, today, being the last day of term before the winter holidays, I thought we should do something fun. Here is a little sheet for you all to finish, and then you have free time. However_, do not_ tell the answers to _anyone_. Oh, and one more thing… the person who follows all the instructions perfectly wins a whopping 30 house points!"

A fair bit of cheering followed the petite professor's words. "On your marks," he started, "get set," the whole class was holding its many breaths, "GO!"

There was a loud scrunching noise as everyone turned over his or her papers. The scratching of quills erupted, but apart from that, it was silent.

Harry looked down at his sheet of parchment.

_Read everything before beginning._

_Write your name in the top left corner of this page._

_In what year did the Titanic sink?_

Harry gaped at the paper. 'Come on! How am I supposed to know that?' he thought crossly, glaring at the parchment before him. 'Whatever. I'll come back to it.'

Next to him, Ron was stressing out.

_What colour are Doxy eggs?_

_Finish the title of this book: Nature's Nobility: A Wizarding …_

Ron's page was blank. He had written nothing. He had even skipped step 2, due to the fact he forgot if his name was Ronald Weasley or Roonil Wazlib. He glanced at Hermione's sheet, but it was face down, and the owner of it was actually proofreading some of next term's homework.

Behind the Golden Trio sat Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas, Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown. Neville was sniffling, looking hopelessly at the page. Seamus and Dean looked at each other, chuckled, and started writing stupid answers that they knew were wrong.

_What is the spell that lights objects on fire?_

_Who is also known as The Singing Sorceress?_

_When you reach this point, stand up, do a star jump and sit down._

Parvati stood up; ignoring the odd looks from the people around her, did a star jump, and sat down. Lavender started giggling, and Parvati shot her a dark look, which shut her up immediately.

Lavender herself had done nothing. She had doodled love hearts all over her page, along with lots of "R.W"s and "Mrs Ronald Weasley"s. The crazy lovesick girl was obsessed with the Gryffindor Keeper.

Sitting in the back row were the Slytherins: Crabbe, Goyle, Malfoy, Parkinson, Zabini and Nott.

Crabbe and Goyle had done next to nothing: they wrote their names in the top right hand corner and they were now having a silent arm wrestle.

Malfoy's sheet was turned over, and he sat still, with a very smug smirk on his face as he observed the girl two rows in front of him. 'So, the bookworm isn't as smart as she thinks she is,' he thought, as he watched her small frame hunch over the table, scribbling quickly.

At the end of the row, Theodore Nott was looking the same girl Malfoy was. She was so clever, so adorable… Theo sighed. As if the girl would ever notice him. He looked down at his half finished paper. But.. if he finished first, she would think he was really smart!

_15. Which Muggle walked on the moon first?_

_16. Announce to the class who you have a crush on._

Theo paled. How could he tell the _entire_ class whom he fancied when he couldn't even talk to her?

Next to him, Blaise Zabini had skipped over all the questions that required him to make a fool of himself.

_24. Whose motto was "For The Greater Good"?_

_25. What is Professor Trelawney's full name?_

_26. What is the function of "pepper spray"?_

_27. How many shops are there in Diagon Alley?_

_28. What is the difference between Puffskeins and Pygmy Puffs?_

Blaise was halfway through describing the colouring of Pygmy puffs when Theo stood up. The chair he was sitting on made a large scraping noise as it was pushed back, which caused everyone in the room to turn and look at him.

"Eurh, um," stuttered Theo, "I, well, um, just wanted to, eh, to, s-say, um, I- I LOVE YOU HERMIONE GRANGER!" Theo yelled before collapsing back onto the desk, his head buried in his arms.

Though there was silence beforehand, this was deadly quiet. There were no sounds of quills on parchment, and it seemed as though the whole room wasn't breathing. Even Pansy Parkinson had stopped painting her nails a horrific bright pink to stare at Theo.

"Um, okay," said Flitwick, drawing the attention back to the front. "I think that is more than enough time… If you would please give me your sheets…"

The tiny professor trotted along the rows, collecting the parchment. As he drew level with Blaise and Theo, Blaise read the last instruction. He groaned.

"Well," said Flitwick, walking up to the teacher's podium. "Let me see… Mr Potter… no, the book is not _Nature's Nobility: A Wizarding Waste of Time…_ I expected you to do better, ah well…"

Flitwick picked up the next piece of paper. "Whose is this? There is nothing on it."

Ron looked up, and said sheepishly, "I forgot my name, sir."

Flitwick gave him a stern look and then continued.

"Hermione Granger… yes, yes, full marks! 30 points for Gryffindor!"

"Neville Longbottom… is this paper wet? Did you _eat_ the corner of this?"

"Seamus Finnigan! Why did you put the answer to every question as _Red Vines?"_

Seamus looked up, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"Well sir, they're Red Vines! What the hell can't they do?"

Flitwick gave him the same look Ron received and continued searching through the pile.

"Dean Thomas… I'm not even going to look at this because I know for a fact it has the same idiocy factors as Mr Finnigan's did."

"Parvati Patil, ah, clever girl, you worked it out halfway through did you? Well then, 15 points to Gryffindor."

"Lavender Brown, I don't know why this page is filled with Mr Weasley's name and initials, and I do not think I want to know…"

"Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, you boys would have earned Slytherin 60 points if you'd have put your names on the other side of the page! Ah well… 10 points each anyway…"

"Draco Malfoy… uh huh, brilliant! 30 points for Slytherin!"

"Miss Parkinson… no points…"

"Mr Zabini… you have answered the questions correctly, but that was not the idea of the sheet. However, I think you should get a little prize for the right answers. 10 points for Slytherin."

"Theodore Nott, most unfortunate what happened today, I must admit…"

Flitwick set the papers to the side, and cleared his throat. "For those of you who did not read the entire paper first like step 1 instructed you to, you only had to do step 1 and 2. The last instruction, number 30, said, _Now that you have carefully read all the instructions, only do step 2, _which was to write your name in the top left hand corner."

**A/N: I hope you liked it! I had to put in AVPM reference ahaha. Please read and review!**


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